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18 February 2011 @ 08:55 pm
My Love for a Kingdom -- Chapter 16  
Title: My Love for a Kingdom
Summary: Young prince of the blood chi-hata Emerson Ratliff isn't thinking about anything beyond finishing his last year at Academy.  Unfortunately, his parents have some disturbing news for him.
Genre: fantasy, historical, romance, comedy, political, academy
Author[info]artemisms 
Word Count: 6145
Rating: 18+
Warnings: AU, fantasy setting, no immediate hardcore action :p
Disclaimer: These are my own original characters! I love them muchly, so please don't copy! <3
A/N: Longest chapter yet :) Please enjoy!

(Chapter 16 -- Inbetweeners)

 
 
 
golden_bastetgolden_bastet on February 19th, 2011 04:04 pm (UTC)
I really, really felt bad for Emerson - he *does* mean well and wants to help. But he *is* a kid - maybe even a touch young for his age - and it just takes time to pick this all up.

One thing: it was a little confusing when Emerson says, "I want to go" (although you do explain it later). Not sure I can offer a constructive suggestion right now; just wanted to mention it.
artemismsartemisms on February 21st, 2011 09:31 pm (UTC)
Yep, his intentions are there, and he's not quite as spoiled as he used to be, but he's still a brat =) Poor Remy.

I replied to your message!
Shelaghxshelaghx on February 21st, 2011 01:45 am (UTC)
Excellent chapter! I think you are doing a great job giving us an unbiased look at both sides of the social issue. (Of course, us readers bring our own biases to the table.) Rohan is a savvy guy but he has his work cut out for him trying to be a bridge. Has he damaged his relationship with his own people by rescuing Emerson? Emerson needs to grow up quickly.BTW I really like how despite being his effeminate and spoiled, you still manage to portray him a boy.
artemismsartemisms on February 21st, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC)
Aw thanks, that last line means a lot ... I often tread water when writing characters like Emerson. I love YA fiction, so my slash teens often seem too young and too female. I work really hard on that.

I think Rohan is having a difficult time with this new marriage, and it's puzzling him. He's clever, but not always intuitive.

Poor Emerson; everyone thinks he's just a big baby, even his own spouse *lol*